The Answers You have been Searching For!

 And how only you can find them...

 At times I feel like my life is a quest; a search for personal answers to better know myself and how I relate to this crazy thing called life. A quest of slowly peeling back the layers to see everything as it really is. A quest that I'll honestly admit has been initially driven by the desire to understand my body, regain health and overcome cancer. So what I want to talk about today is where I find those answers; or often where I find the questions to ask first.

Life presents us with a problem. A big problem that requires something to change, we just don't know what needs to change. Assuming we've already procrastinated or distracted ourselves from the problem for a while (my soon-to-be old habit); then life or we give ourselves a kick up the ass and get motivated .

What do you do? Where do you look for your answers and why?

The world is a wonderfully varied place, filled with 7 billion people. People who have been through similar or worse situations to what I'm struggling with. People who stand in positions of authority: Gurus, Doctors, Parents, Healers, Ministers... Thus, usually my first port of call to find what I'm looking for is to look for it in people who seem to have found their own answers. Honestly, I was going to say that I go to people that I admire first, but usually it was those that are put in positions of "knowing the answers" or authority, by society that I went to first...

It may also be overcoming their circumstances that attracts us: like losing 10kg's a a few months, overcoming trauma, living the life you want or curing their own cancer. In admiring/respecting/believing them you try following their path, doing what they've done to get there or adopting their beliefs & ideals. 
For me it was the last one, curing cancer. Juices, diets, herbs, religious groups, meditation, surgery, chemo... I tried all the things that had worked for others and always with the attitude of "I just have to find the right thing to do"...

So you embrace the change, yet honestly there is some part of you that doesn't feel right. More often than not, we ignore that feeling and try it anyway, only to find that we may be half-arsed when it comes to sticking to the diet, we are not able to sustain any benefit we get from it or it simply doesn't work. 
I went through surgery like that; doing it because I was scared not to and the doctors knew it worked for some people. It didn't work for me. It made it worse.

There may then come a point when you realise; this worked for them but doesn't work for me. So then more searching, trawling the internet, going to inspirational talks or retreats. Looking for another way to try, another path to follow. Admittedly we do learn along the way, taking a few bits and pieces from those that we've followed to try to stitch together our own way. Yet it lends its self to a life of searching and a constant feeling of needing something more. 

The focus is usually on finding the answers out there that others have found; instead of looking inside ourselves to find our own answers, or even our own questions.

This was part of a profound shift for me. At the time I stopped looking for what out there would cure me and found a belief that I already had everything I needed, which included a course of chemotherapy that didn't work for anyone else. It worked for me. Almost "miraculously".

The flip side of this is when we find ourselves in a position of authority or greater awareness and a friend, family member, colleague or client comes to us with a problem. We can see the cause of their problem and the an apparent solution is right there before them... It can be frustrating, but no amount of telling them what to do will make them change. They have to make the change themselves and their a lot more likely to do it for their own reasons than ours.

I acknowledge that this is not an easy thing to do. It's much easier to follow someone else, and when in a teaching role, it's even easier to lovingly explain what worked for you rather than give the other person space to find their own answers.  Yet if we are able to come to our own answers to the questions that are currently plaguing us; then we will create a lasting solution rather than a temporary fix.

I know when I first came across the idea of a councillor not offering solutions to a client in a workshop I attended; I struggled with it. My ego thought of course I can help show them their own problems and answers! 
Yet when someone has tried to tell me their answers for my problems (even from a sincere place) I've rebelled, ignored or scoffed at them on the inside... Whereas, every time I've made a profound shift has been when I've figured something out myself or when someone has asked a question that has made me look at the problem in a different way; and it's usually happened when I've already been actively looking for the answers.

How does that relate to me now in every day life?

Well now I only do what feels right for me. I'm vegetarian and love food. I meditate regularly, because it feels great. I don't follow any religious groups, but occasionally drop by to say hello to the wonderful people that I met at them. I only go through with medical procedures if it feels completely right. I regularly journal and reflect upon the circumstances in my life to learn from them. I take time out to meditate, go bush or retreat to help become aware of my own questions and answers. And I'm trying to provide spaces where others are encouraged to find their own answers too.

May you find the answers and peace that are already inside you,
U Can Live.